“Knowledge is Power”; “Power Corrupts”

This could be related to the idea/realization that a lot of the “aikido greats” uchideshi were young when they were kicking butt and being sent overseas to spread the good word. And since they were young we might unwittingly forget that at that stage in their life as human beings and aikido practitioners they had more or less universal issues to wrestle with (or pass over), such as impatience, dogma, objectifying others, arrogance, expectations of others, etc. And since I have more or less been in the same stage of life in recent years, I know I face these issues myself.

This is probably also related to something (yet another thing) that Endo sensei told me and only now I’ve begun to appreciate/grasp: On a couple of occasions, when I shared with him something I’m working on or “getting”, his response was, “Already? It’s too early. Maybe I taught you too much”. And in turn what popped into my head was, a) “How could more ability/skill early on possibly be a bad thing?” and b) “I’m not a teacher and not in a position to become lost in, or exert on others, delusions of grandeur due to being more skillful early”. And granted, my state then and now certainly includes genuine curiosity and enthusiasm. Yet at the same time, I see now, there has also been the formation of an egotistical (egoistic?) self and corresponding way of seeing self and others.

Part of this self is one that relates to others as “other” i.e., those people over there who don’t get it, are completely on the wrong track, who I have no idea what they’re doing, who wouldn’t understand if I could somehow explain things to them. It has not been so much an issue of having delusions on my part - I am all for evidence and validation i.e., keeping a check on myself - but more about the attitude with which I hold my skill/ability. Thus, what sensei said about knowing these things too early made sense to me about being dangerous.

I think that one of the easy ways to deal with this dilemma in a constructive manner is to detach and “be a hermit”. That is, if I think to myself that I can resolve this danger by not concerning myself at all with what others are doing, or what I am doing relative to what others are doing. That way I can avoid thinking about or seeing the fact the I may be more skillful or have a better understanding than others. Although this approach may minimize the danger of falling prey to the arrogance, it is obviously avoidance and not resolution.

How to hold power and not be corrupted? Among other things, I think there is a kind of detachment that comes with age. I see college kids (and even middle aged adults) posturing, and full of pretense and self-consciousness, and I know that I used to have the same way of seeing and managing myself and others, and experiencing the need to do so - there could be no other way. So now that I am setting down and experiencing a kind of maturity, I can appreciate that it might not be the best fit for me - I can’t say about others but reckon people develop differently depending on which historical and cultural context they live in - to be leading or teaching others right this minute. Of course there are other aspects to not becoming corrupted by power, but the stage-in-life thing came to mind today.